A Very Improbable Christmas
by DoofusPrime
Summary: Kim and Ron are on break, celebrating Christmas with the Possible family after their first semester of college. Unfortunately for them, Drakken is also getting ready for the holidays, and he has some special surprises planned for his teen foes!
1. Lights, Cookies, Action!

**A Very Improbable Christmas**, by DoofusPrime

_**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. This work was not created for profit. No copyright infringement is intended._

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**Lights, Cookies, Action!**

XX

Ron Stoppable was fighting for his life.

Perched on his scooter, Ron wobbled dangerously as he drove down an icy Middleton road towards his destination. Perhaps the only thing keeping him safe was that, at its top speed, the scooter lurched forward at about the same pace as a brisk walk on foot. It was late at night, and the scooter's headlight cast a weak beam ahead of him, but Ron could easily see where he was going thanks to a glowing blanket of fresh snow draped over the neighborhood that reflected the moon's light.

The route to Ron's destination was short. The scooter performed some particularly acrobatic slides across a few patches of ice, and slowed down as he pulled over to the side of the road in front of a house. Ron took off his helmet and grabbed a wrapped package from the scooter's basket, marked "to Kim". Celebrating Christmas with the Possible family was always fun, but tonight Ron felt particularly happy. Perhaps it was because he and Kim were in a close relationship and had just gotten through their first semester of college together. For his girlfriend, a semester of college was no big compared to fighting evil villains, but for Ron, getting through his first semester was no mean feat.

As he walked up the driveway to the front door, Ron felt a strange tension wrap around his body. Something seemed wrong. He took a few steps back and looked over the house, and suddenly realized what was strange about the sight. All the lights were off! Ron thought it was unusual for Kim's house to be so dark and quiet on Christmas Eve. He hoped he was not too late; his parents had held him up, wanting to spend time with him since he was home on break, and although he enjoyed being with them, he didn't want to miss Christmas with the Possible family. Ron was about to ring the doorbell and see if anyone was home when an even stranger feeling overtook his previous tension. Ron suddenly felt like he had forgotten something important.

He looked back and saw the scooter was turned off and safely parked, and felt the package nestled in the crook of his arm. A warm shape snoring in his pocket told him that he had not forgotten to take Rufus along. What else could it be? Ron stood and thought for a moment, shivering as the cold night air nipped at his exposed skin, when suddenly his stomach dropped like a stone.

Sunglasses!

XX

"Flip it!"

James Possible stood on the tips of his toes, clenching his hands together in anticipation, goggles wrapped securely around his face. He almost imperceptibly jumped up and down in front of his living room window. Had a stranger seen him from outside, they might have mistaken him for a very giddy child waiting for an ice cream truck.

"Okay, here goes!" the twin Possible children yelled from the garage.

James listened in awe as a sizzling electrical sound ripped through the house like an invisible wave. The snowy carpet over the front lawn erupted with blinding light, as if the sun had suddenly dropped down to a few feet above their house. He knew his Christmas lighting was probably violating numerous neighborhood codes, but some rules were meant to be broken. Suddenly James heard a horrible piercing sound outside the window.

"Dad!" his daughter Kim Possible cried. "Did I just hear a girl screaming?"

James frowned. "I don't know Kimmie-cub, it sounded like it came from outside the front door. Maybe it was a Pixie Scout."

"A Pixie Scout, on Christmas?" Kim, who had been standing next to her mother and father in the living room to watch the momentous lighting event, went over to the front door and opened it. Even with goggles on, she shielded her eyes in anticipation of a burst of light.

"Ron!"

Kim jumped forward at the writhing figure on her doorstep and wrapped him in a warm hug. She quickly realized that Ron must have been blinded by the Christmas display, and led him by the hand through the front door.

"Why, KP? Every year, why?" Ron stood in the entryway and rubbed his eyes.

Kim's mother, Anne Possible, came in from the living room to greet Ron. "Hello Ron. Glad to have you over for Christmas. I hope you didn't get caught in the crossfire out there."

"Yeah, I did Mrs. Dr. P. My eyes are busted now so you're going to have to lead me to the couch."

"Oh, now come on Ron. I'm sure it can't be that bad." Anne took Ron into the kitchen and shuffled through a drawer for a pen light, which she flashed into Ron's eyes. He squinted and tried to look away. "See, you're fine."

"Well, I was blind. But I got better."

Kim rolled her eyes. "We wanted to wait for you to turn the lights on, but you took so long to get here."

"Sorry about that. The folks wanted me to stay a while after dinner and help clean things up, and then I had to shovel the driveway to get my scooter out."

"What's in the package?" Kim motioned to the object that Ron had just placed on the kitchen table.

"Oh, that's a special Christmas surprise. You guys haven't opened your presents yet, right?"

"No, we'll open them tomorrow morning. A present for me!" Kim almost hugged Ron again in excitement, but suddenly looked puzzled. "Wait... you wrapped my present with newspaper and string?"

Ron looked sheepish, and was about to reply when James walked into the kitchen and took his goggles off. "Hello Ron. We weren't used to eating Christmas dinner without you."

"I guess the folks wanted to spend a little more time with me than usual. I don't know why, they don't even celebrate Christmas."

James smiled. "Well, you're in college now. I'm sure they miss having you around more, since you're out of the house and off running around campus with my little Kimmie." He somehow managed to throw a face that looked to Ron like a smile and a glare wrapped up in one expression.

"So, uh, where is Nana Possible?" asked Ron, trying to change the direction of his girlfriend's father's thoughts.

"Oh, she wasn't able to come this year."

Kim nodded. "I think it's because she didn't want to give up the Florida weather for Middleton."

"She's a sharp lady," observed Ron.

"We do have some leftovers in the fridge if you're still hungry."

"Nah, it's cool. I'm thinking I just want to lay on the couch and watch some television. Maybe I can find some Snowman Hank reruns."

Ron walked into the living room, flipped on the television, and sank into the couch like he was a part of the fabric. Kim came in and sat down beside him with a contented smile. She knew Ron's parents would want him around for Christmas, and she had been a little nervous when he was late to their house. Christmas was her favorite time of year and she was glad to have him around, newspaper-wrapped presents and all.

XX

A relentless sheet of snow whipped against the sides of a hulking mass of architecture that loomed from the peak of a cliff. The building was hunched down, shivering against the mass of shifting snow and night air that pressed against it. Its bulk took up most of the cliff's peak, but if one looked closely, one could see a small snow-covered patch of space that led to the building's entrance. A small wooden sign was placed in front of the entrance. Right now it was covered by frost and nearly invisible due to the weather, but under normal circumstances one could read a warning: "Keep out!" Underneath the warning, scrawled in barely legible handwriting, was another message: "Except for Santa."

A heavily barred window cast out a bright glow from the inside of the alpine lair. The window was situated in one corner of a massive domed room that was roughly triangular in shape. One corner of the room, from which the window was casting its light, was furnished to look like a living room complete with a couch and television. A woman dressed in green and black peered out the window into the impenetrable blizzard, and then turned back into the room.

"What are you working on, Doctor D?"

Drakken did not respond. He was hunched over a large metal table in the center of his laboratory, which sprawled across another corner of his lair's massive main room. The table was covered with a seemingly random assortment of tools, nondescript chunks of metal, and pages of disorganized schematics that would be indecipherable to anyone besides Drakken. His back was turned to her, so Shego could not see what he was working on. His body was haloed by the blue glow of a welding torch that he was using on a large shape, which she could not quite make out.

"Doctor Draaaakken..." Shego whispered. She sidled up close behind him and peered over his shoulder. Her curious expression quickly shifted to exasperation when she saw a humanoid figure lying on the table. "Oh no, not again. Haven't we given up on that whole Bebe robot thing yet?"

"It's not a Bebe, Shego."

"What is it then? A synthodrone?"

Drakken smiled sneakily. "You'll just have to see, won't you!"

Shego inspected the figure more closely. It lay stiffly on its back, and seemed to be wearing some kind of uniform. She could not tell whether it was made from metal or something other material. Drakken was not finished with it, and various small parts lay scattered around the figure. Shego could not even guess at what it was.

"Why are you working, anyways? Didn't you say you were going on break?"

"I'm just finishing up a few odds and ends, Shego. I'll be done in a moment, and then it will be time for Christmas cheer!"

"Great, Christmas cheer. Just what I've been waiting for all year. I'll be over here on the couch, where you can cheerfully not bother me."

Shego walked back over to the living room area of Drakken's lair. She sometimes wondered if Drakken organized the lair this way simply so he could nag her more easily while she tried to watch television or read a magazine. The living room section consisted of a comfortable but slightly threadbare brown sofa, a pair of reclining chairs, a coffee table scattered with fashion magazines and a few issues of _Villains Weekly,_ a big-screen plasma television, and an awkward Christmas tree placed in the corner, sheltering a small assortment of presents. Shego turned on the television, flipping to a news channel and idly staring at her fingernails. The black coat was chipping, but the fingernail polish was in her bedroom. Which was far too great a distance now that she was lying down already. Ah well.

After watching the news disinterestedly for a while, Shego glanced behind the couch at the laboratory. Drakken was coming up the lair's basement stairway, which snaked its way down from the laboratory area. The humanoid figure on the metal work table was gone, so she assumed he must have taken it down for storage. Drakken strolled towards her with a ridiculously large smile on his face. One part of her scoffed at Drakken's behavior when he was excited, but a deeper part, a part which existed even if she did not like to admit it, found his moods endearing.

"Shego! Aren't you taking time off for the holidays?"

Shego shrugged. "I might as well hang out here. Make sure you don't blow yourself up or anything." She had thought about taking a couple of weeks of vacation, but realized that the only real alternative for the holidays would be visiting her brothers at their tower in Go city, which did not appeal to her in the least. The thought of Hego wearing felt deer antlers made her shudder involuntarily.

"Well, that's excellent news! Perhaps you'd like me to make some cocoa moo, and when I come back from the kitchen we can see what is on television?"

"I assume that by 'see what's on TV' you mean look for Snowman Hank reruns, right?"

"Of course."

"Whatever," said Shego, turning back to the television.

Drakken whistled to himself as he skipped off towards the kitchen. He was glad that Shego was staying for her holiday break, because after the incident at the United Nations conference, their relationship had remained at a somewhat awkward professional level. Drakken felt like it was high time to step up his game. Since he was plannng to invite Kim Possible and her sidekick over, he had even more surprises up his sleeve. The holidays were looking up!


	2. Invitation

**Invitation**

XX

Most of the Possible family was gathered in the living room. Kim and Ron curled up next to each other on the couch, the twins sat on the floor directly in front of the television, and Kim's mother relaxed in a rocking chair with a red and green Christmas blanket draped over her. The Possible patriarch, however, was nowhere to be seen.

Kim, leaning against Ron with her arm draped around his shoulder, felt him twitch as a piercing metallic crash came from the kitchen. She rolled her eyes and knew exactly where the sound was coming from. "Dad, why don't you give it a rest and come sit down with us?" she yelled.

"Just a minute Kimmie!"

Ron yawned and asked, "What's going on in there KP?"

"He's making cookies."

"Cookies!" Ron sprung out of the couch like he was on fire and ran to the kitchen. "Hey Mr. Dr. P, you're baking cookies?"

James Possible was standing in the kitchen, holding a pair of pliers and wearing an apron and a nonplussed expression. Next to him squatted a clunky device topped by a transparent glass dome, which sprouted an open glass chute from its side that reminded Ron of a proboscis.

"Not exactly Ron. I'm not baking cookies, but I am making them. I'm testing out this new cookie-making device."

"You mean an oven?"

"No. This is the Cookutron 2000. All I have to do is insert some cookie dough into the side, right here, and then you can watch the cookies being made in the glass viewing area, and it spits them out onto your plate through the chute when you press the button! Right now it takes about thirty minutes to make the cookies."

"Isn't that the same thing as an oven then?" asked Ron, scratching his head.

James chuckled. "Oh, you teenagers are so cheeky. This will be much better once I get the kinks worked out!"

He leaned over and poked at the machine with his pliers, when suddenly a glob of uncooked dough shot out of the glass chute with amazing speed and flattened itself against the kitchen wall. Several more globs of dough coughed out of the chute, almost as an afterthought, splattering on the kitchen tile.

Ron frowned. "What happened to the Eggnog machine?"

James glanced around sheepishly and did not respond.

"James agreed that it was a good idea to get rid of it," came Anne's voice from the other room. "Cookie dough is much easier to clean up than raw egg."

James wiped the cookie dough from the wall and picked up the dough that had fallen on the floor. He placed the pliers back in a drawer and leaned against the counter, apparently giving up on the Cookutron 2000, at least for a moment. He turned and crossed his arms over his chest as his face changed into an expression that made Ron feel slightly uncomfortable.

"So, Ron... tell me, how was your first semester of college?"

"Oh, you know, classes, missions, parties I mean not parties just classes, just the same old same old!" gulped Ron, who had a vague premonition as to which direction the conversation was about to turn.

"And Kim? I hope you two have been enjoying yourselves?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"I assume you've been keeping her out of trouble and making sure those frat boys stay away from her, right Ronald?"

"You know it Mr. Dr. P!"

"That's very good Ron," said James. "And I hope that you two haven't been up to any funny business while you're off on campus with no adult supervision? What is it that you kids say? Hanky panky?"

"Of course not, Mr. Dr. P! I wouldn't dream of it!" Ron was lying, of course – he had dreamed of it on many occasions – but he and Kim had actually been taking it slow when it came to physical stuff, especially compared to the wild stories he often heard from his fellow students. However, knowing his innocence did not make talking to James any less harrowing.

"I'm glad to hear it Ron. I didn't think I had anything to worry about. You're a very trustworthy young man." James stared at the Cookutron 2000 with a glimmer in his eye. "Of course, if I found out I was wrong... well, I've been thinking about making this machine a little bigger, so it can make more cookies at a time. Maybe I could make it big enough to hold a teenage boy."

"Dad! Leave Ron alone!" Kim yelled from the living room.

Ron laughed nervously. "Alright Mr. Dr. P, well, I think I'm going to go back to the couch with Kim. Good luck with those cookies!"

James smiled as he watched Ron dart out of the kitchen. He liked to pull Ron's chain and keep him on his toes, and on a rational level he knew that Kim could probably keep herself out of trouble better than Ron could, but he was being honest when he called Ron trustworthy. Well, maybe James wasn't going to be trusting Ron with large cash sums anytime soon, but he knew Ron was trustworthy when it came to his daughter.

James knew that he had trouble accepting the fact that Kim was growing up – and not just growing up, but growing up faster than almost anyone else her age. She had the world at her fingertips, and had even saved it on a few occasions. Even though she was far more independent than he was at her age, James could not help but worry when Kim went off to college. Knowing that Kim was in a close relationship with Ron instead of going out with strange boys went a long way in checking his fears. Ron still had some growing up to do, but James couldn't think of anyone he trusted more with Kim.

XX

Shego's eye twitched convulsively.

The news channel she was watching on television was playing an old clip of Kim Possible and the Lorwardian invasion. Hearing the narrator fawn over Kimmie was irritating, although she smirked when he referred to Kim's sidekick as 'John Soddable', but that was not that caused her eye to twitch in anger. The news special was playing a clip of Doctor Drakken and herself accepting an award at the U.N. Assembly. Drakken had just snaked a flower tendril around Shego's waist and pulled her towards him.

"Excuse me, Miss Shego,"asked a reporter in the clip_, "_Would you mind telling us what the nature of your relationship with Doctor Drakken is?"

"Shego is my hot girlfriend! We're very tight." Drakken exclaimed before she could open her mouth. The segment abruptly ended and the narrator began speaking about the cleanup after the invasion.

Shego remembered how infuriated she was after Drakken's impulsive statement. Where in the world did he get the idea they were involved with each other? Why did he have to blurt it out on national television? Why did he have an uncontrollable desire to be lashed with hot green plasma fire? She had been angry with him for a long time after the incident at the conference, and for a while Drakken had kept his distance from her, but recently he was getting more and more explicit about his interest. She made it clear to him that she did not return his feelings, but as she reflected on it, she became more and more unsure of what she felt towards Drakken. When he first made the flowery gesture at the conference, she knew her reaction had been a positive one, even if things got awkward later. Was it just a professional relationship, or could there be something more?

Shego looked over the back of the couch to see Drakken fiddling with a computer terminal at the command platform of his lair. While the two other corners of the main room were taken up by the living room area and the laboratory, the third corner held the lair's command center, which was situated on a platform raised above the floor by a few steps. The command center held a variety of computer terminals and equipment, but its centerpiece was a giant viewing screen that loomed above Drakken for occasions when he needed to issue an ultimatum to world leaders, or speak to his mother. Right now the screen was black.

"Hey Doctor D! I thought you were going to find a Christmas show to watch. What are you doing now?"

Drakken glanced furtively over his shoulder. "Never you mind. Just making some last minute Christmas plans!"

Shego was across the room and leaning over Drakken's shoulder almost before he finished talking. He jumped in surprise as she swatted his hand away to prevent him from turning off the computer terminal. "What's this?" Shego asked, staring at a message on the screen.

_Kim Possible -_

_I hope you've had a delightful Christmas Eve. You are corjully invited to come to my__ lair,__ stay the night as my guest, and celebrate a very special Christmas morning! I have something here that your buffoon of a sidekick cares very deeply about, so it is in your best interest to get here soon. If you do not come, or if you bring Global Justice with you, you will regret it. Best wishes, Doctor Drakken._

Shego laughed. "That's not how you spell 'cordially', Doctor D."

"Don't give me lip, Shego! I already sent the message anyways."

Shego looked puzzled. "How come you didn't want me to see this? I'm all for giving Princess a good hard Christmas kick or two." She cracked her knuckles in excitement. "What do you have planned, some kind of ambush? Does this have to do with that robot thing you were working on earlier?"

"What? No, of course not Shego. It's Christmas! I'm inviting Kim and the buffoon over so that we can celebrate Christmas together, in the spirit of the season!"

"Are you serious?" asked Shego, crestfallen. "Then why in the world did you write the invitation the way you did?"

"What way?"

"_Durrr, I'm Doctor Drakken, I have something Ron Stoppable cares about, you'd better come over here!_ That way, idiot."

"But it's true! I have a present for him." Drakken pointed at a slightly disheveled looking box wrapped in newspaper under the Christmas tree. "It's a Snowman Hank Special Edition DVD!"

"Ugh. Okay, why did you tell Kim that she'd regret it if she didn't come over, or if she brought Global Justice along?"

Drakken shrugged. "It would ruin the Christmas celebration, wouldn't it?

Shego finally gave up trying to hack through the dense jungle of Drakken's thought processes and returned to the couch. She still wasn't convinced that Drakken wasn't planning something; perhaps he was just keeping it all a surprise. Surely the robotic creation he was storing in the lair's basement had something to do with it. Hopefully Drakken wasn't going soft. She knew they hadn't done anything particularly evil in a long time – whether Drakken was just lazy or was having some kind of mid-life crisis, she wasn't sure - but inviting those goody-two-shoes over for the holidays seemed like it was crossing the line. Regardless of what Drakken was planning, Shego decided she would be sure to give the Princess a good yuletide smackdown.


	3. I've Been Dreaming of a Green Christmas

**I've Been Dreaming of a Green Christmas**

XX

Kim and Ron were curled up contentedly on the couch with a blanket draped over them. It was very late – early Christmas morning, in fact – and the rest of the Possible family had already retired to their rooms for a good night's sleep. The lights were off, but a fire was dying down in the nearby hearth, and the television cast a soft glow over them from the news channel they had been watching earlier. The volume was almost muted, so that Kim's family would not be woken up.

Kim looked down at her boyfriend who was on the verge of dozing off, laying on his side with his head in her lap. Rufus was asleep and hanging halfway out of Ron's pants pocket, his mouth agape and whiskers twitching. After a lot of wheedling, Kim had convinced her parents to let Ron sleep over on Christmas Eve so that he could open presents with them the next morning. She had been forced to employ her patented technique of hitting her mother with the puppy dog pout, and then getting her mother to work on her father, who gave in after making it clear that Ron would be using a sleeping bag or the couch. Kim's technique was almost unbeatable.

Kim snickered, remembering the news clip they had seen earlier. "I can't believe Drakken said that in front of all those reporters," she said quietly. "I wonder if it was actually true?"

"What... you mean are they going steady?" Ron asked with a yawn. "Something about that is just so sick and wrong. I mean, dude, can you imagine them making -"

"Okay Ron, _so_ not what I want to be thinking about on Christmas."

"Hey, you brought it up KP."

Kim frowned playfully. "Well, I was about to make out with you, but now that you've ruined the moment and blamed it on me, I guess that's not happening."

"Awwww, come on!"

Kim laughed. She was about to lean down and kiss Ron when a familiar beep rang out from her pants. She apprehensively slipped the Kimmunicator out of her pocket. Why would Wade be calling at such a late hour, and on Christmas for that matter?

"Hey Wade, what's the sitch?"

Wade was dressed in a Santa Claus outfit as was his custom on Christmas, but he had a serious expression. "Hey Kim. I got a hit on your site from Drakken. He sent you a message."

"Speak of the devil. Alright, put it through," groaned Kim. Didn't Drakken take time off for Christmas?

Ron sat up next to Kim and read the message with her. Rufus was also awake from the Kimmunicator's beeping and the conversation. Perched on Ron's shoulder, he peered down at the device and nodded sagely. As Ron read the message, he felt increasingly concerned.

"Drakken has something I care about? What does that mean?" gasped Ron. "Oh my God, HE'S GOT KIM!"

Kim arched her eyebrow.

"Oh, right, you're right here. Pretend I didn't say that. Wait! Oh my God, He's taken over Bueno Nacho again!"

"Amp down, Ron. He hasn't taken over Bueno Nacho. But you'd better call your parents and see if everything is all right. It looks like we're going to have to miss Christmas morning with my family. Wade, do you have a ride ready?"

Wade's face popped back up on the screen. "Yeah, it should be at your house in about fifteen minutes. Good luck guys!"

Kim rushed up the stairs to her room as Ron went to dial his parents. She shoved aside the clothes in her closet and opened the hidden compartment containing her mission suit. Missing Christmas morning with her family was irritating, and somehow Drakken's message did not seem as threatening as it should have been, but she could not ignore it. Especially when Global Justice seemed to take more major holidays off than the Post Office. It was strange, but she realized that she had not seen or heard much from either Drakken or Shego in a long time. She knew they had been given a pardon for any previous crimes or outstanding warrants as a reward for their role in helping save the world, and after their conference at the United Nations they seemed to have slipped under the radar. As far as Kim was concerned, that meant they were either taking a break, or were planning something particularly nasty.

As Kim finished suiting up, her mother appeared in the doorway. "What's going on, Kim?" she asked.

"It looks like Drakken is planning something, so we have to go. Sorry mom."

"That's a shame. He seemed so excited about Christmas when he threw us that little get-together in his garbage pod!"

Kim gave her mother a quick hug and ran back down the stairs. "Bye mom! Hopefully we can wrap it up and get back before Christmas day is totally wasted."

"Be careful Kimmie!"

Anne sighed as she heard the sound of a jet landing in the front yard, followed shortly by the front door slamming shut. The twins and James could sleep through anything, but the rest of the neighborhood would most likely be woken up. _At least it's not as bad as the neighborhood being demolished by Lorwardian spider robots, _she thought in resignation. Anne liked to look on the bright side of things.

XX

Kim peered out beyond the glass of a cockpit window as their ride flew over the Swiss Alps, coming up on a range of snow-capped mountains that loomed up ahead. The sky was just beginning to soften into the blue and orange hues of dawn, and the snow was no longer falling. They were almost at their destination.

"Thanks for the ride," she said to the pilot beside her.

"No problem at all, Miss Possible! It's the least I could do after you stopped my shipment of Cuddle Buddies from being hijacked by those black market smugglers."

"It was no big. I'm surprised at the things people will do to get their hands on some of those Cuddle Buddies." She scratched her neck nervously, remembering her cuddly reward for that particular act of altruism. Yes, it was completely altruistic, she told herself.

"Alright, there's your landing point up ahead. You'd better get ready!" The pilot motioned to a familiar fortress rearing up from one of the mountain crags.

Kim turned back into the plane's cargo hold and picked her way through a crowded mass of crates, picking up a parachute pack from next to the cargo bay doors. She looked around for Ron but could not see him. "Hey Ron, we're about to jump, get ready!"

Ron's head poked out from behind a stack of crates. He had numerous plastic figures of some kind clenched in his fists. "KP, these crates are filled with wrestling action figures! There's a Steel Toe complete with spring-activated kicking toe! Maybe you should ask for another reward."

"Ron, we're not doing him a favor, he's doing us a favor. Stop playing with your dolls and get over here!"

"Dolls? These are action figures, KP. Ron is too much of a man for dolls."

Kim rolled her eyes and grabbed Ron, snapping a parachute pack onto his back and opening the cargo bay doors. "Bombs away, Ron!" she yelled through the frigid wind that whipped into the hold. Kim grabbed Ron's hand and jumped into the void.

Ron had performed many jumps with Kim over the years, but it was never something he became completely used to. The fact that they were jumping from a high elevation in the middle of winter did not help his comfort level either; despite his insulating winter mission gear and goggles, the wind bit into his face like a wild animal. He doubted he would ever figure out how Kim got a rush out of this, but it was one of the many reasons he loved her.

Kim let go of Ron's hand and pulled his parachute ring for him before deploying her own as they sailed down towards a flat roof on the building below. Ron knew that many guys would feel insecure about the way Kim sometimes did things for him and led him by the hand. It used to make him a little insecure – he remembered the time that he was using Jack Hench's strength enhancing ring as a particularly embarrassing example - but with time, he had almost grown to like it. He was comfortable with who he was, and there was something charming about how Kim couldn't help but take control of every detail of a situation.

They finally landed on the roof of the building and unhooked their parachutes. Ron felt like a human popsicle. His teeth chattered as he trailed behind Kim, who was making a beeline for a nearby air duct as she pulled the Kimmunicator out of her pocket.

"Hey Wade, we're here. Where does this air duct lead?"

Wade's face appeared on the screen, concentrating intently on some schematics of the lair. "It looks like it leads into the main room, eventually. Shego and Drakken should be in there, but it could be a trap."

"We'll be careful." Kim pried the grate from the air duct and slipped inside.

The temperature inside the duct was noticeably warmer than the roof, so Ron was glad to be crawling around even if it was a cramped space. The sight of Kim's rear end directly in front of him was also contributing to Ron's raised temperature. Occasionally he noticed Kim glance back at him with slitted eyes, as if she could sense exactly what he was looking at. He had to admit, her hindsight was amazing.

"Here it is," whispered Kim as they reached a shuttered vent in the wall of the duct that peered out into a large room. Kim scanned the room, but did not see Shego or Drakken.

"Where are they, Kim?"

"I don't know... let's get in and look around." Kim began to unscrew the bolts that fastened the grating.

"Wait, you heard what Wade said. What if it's a trap?"

Kim shrugged. "We're going to have to come into the room eventually."

She placed the grating carefully aside as they dropped quietly into the room. Kim was amused by the juxtaposition of a Christmas tree and presents in the same room as a sinister looking laboratory and control center, but she had to admit it was Drakken's style. The room was silent, and she did not see any signs of Shego, Drakken, or a setup.

Ron struck a ninja pose. "Come on, the Ron man's ready to go! Where is everybody?" He walked towards a laboratory table, hoping to find something interesting, and immediately knocked over what looked like an expensive piece of equipment, which shattered on the ground.

"Ron!"

"Uh, Rufus did it." Rufus popped out of his pocket and crossed his arms angrily.

Kim went over to the Christmas tree and looked at the presents beneath it, wondering what an evil villain would have under his tree. She was also interested in seeing if there were any gifts that sported a card marked _To Shego, from Drakken_. One present wrapped in newspaper caught her eye. The attached card was hard to decipher, but it seemed to read: _To the buffoon. Happy Hanika!_

"Hey Ron, come check this out, I -"

Kim whirled around at the sound of a loud crash. Ron must have set off a trap in the center of the room, because he was standing inside of a large metal cage with a sheepish expression. The cage looked like it had dropped down from the ceiling on top of him.

"Sorry KP. Looks like I stepped on a panel or something."

Kim sighed. She was about to search the laboratory for some kind of release mechanism – all evil lairs had readily available release mechanisms for their traps, usually adjacent to the conveniently labeled self destruct button – when she heard a familiar voice.

"Kim Possible?"

Kim turned to see Shego entering the room from a dark hallway. She was dressed in a green robe with a white frilly trim and red sash. Her black hair was wild and unkempt, as if she had just woken up. Kim looked down at Shego's feet and raised an eyebrow.

"Are those... bunny slippers?"

XX

James Possible sipped a mug of coffee as he read the morning paper. The sun was low in the sky but shone brightly through the kitchen blinds, casting patterns of color over the rocket ships that decorated James' robe. He shifted the paper to a new page, only half reading an article on a pop star, Britina, whose name he did not recognize. The house was quiet; James enjoyed getting up early on Christmas mornings in order to get a few hours of peace and quiet for himself before Jim and Tim woke up to open their presents, which were usually loud and powered by rocket fuel.

He smiled as Anne walked into the room with a yawn. "Hey honey... you look a little bushed. Have trouble sleeping?"

Anne nodded "Kim and Ron woke me up in the middle of the night. They had to go stop Drakken from doing something. I'm not sure what exactly."

"Drew Lipsky?" said James in a disapproving tone. "On Christmas? You know, back in my day, we didn't hang out with our archenemies on Christmas. Kids these days, huh?"

"Yes dear."

XX

Drakken grinned as he stood in front of the lair's Christmas Tree, clad in his extra fuzzy robe and slippers. Spread beneath the tree was a cornucopia of colorful presents, one of which seemed much larger than the rest, reaching almost up to his shoulders from the floor. A large golden ribbon on top of the present had a card attached to it, which read "To Drakken!" in curvy feminine handwriting.

The blue villain turned to look at his cage trap. Inside the cage, surrounded by gnawed bones and half-eaten food, was a disheveled looking Dementor. "Which one should I open first, Dementor?" asked Drakken.

"I am SERIOUSLY not feeling ze Christmas spirit here!" shouted Dementor.

Drakken laughed and pulled the ribbon from the largest present. "Let's see what's in this one!"

He tore greedily at the wrapping paper and opened the top of the box inside. As he leaned over to stare at its contents, a sudden movement caused him step back with a gasp. Drakken watched in excitement as a curvaceous figure in green negligee stood up from the box and struck a seductive pose.

"Hello, Doctor D. I hope you like your Christmas gift!"

"I love it, Shego... it's exactly what I wanted!"

"That's good, because there's no returning me." Shego stepped out from the open box and walked towards Drakken, her bare feet sliding across the floor like green snakes. "Do you have a present for _me_, Doctor D?"

XX

Drakken was torn from his slumber by the sound of a loud crash from outside his bedroom. He sat bolt upright in his bed, covered with cold sweat. _Nooo_, he thought. J_ust a few more minutes of sleep_! As he focused on his surroundings, he heard the sound of two people shouting at each other coming from the main room, and jumped out of his bed to race down the hallway.

"Kim Possible!?"

Upon entering the domed main room of his lair, he found himself suddenly caught in the crossfire between two enraged women, one with a fiery mane of red hair and one with fiery green glowing hands. He stood between them and held his arms out in an attempt at supplication, but he had a distinct feeling that they were willing to go right through him to get to each other.

"Ladies, ladies! Why are we fighting?"

"She made a comment about my slippers!" yelled Shego. "I didn't ask her to be here!"

Kim snorted derisively. "I didn't ask to be here either. What's going on, Drakken? What do you want from us?"

"You got my message, didn't you? It's Christmas time! I thought we could celebrate the season together in the spirit of peace and harmony. I just didn't expect you to get here so early in the morning. You woke me up from my beauty rest!"

"We got your message," said Ron, who was still trapped in the cage, gripping the bars with white-knuckled hands. "You said you have something I care about. What's the deal? Are you holding someone hostage?"

"Of course not," Drakken laughed. "I have a present for you. Why don't you all sit down on the couch here and have a little chat while I go fix everyone some cocoa moo."

"Seriously? You're not going to let me torch these losers?" Shego kept her glowing hands poised menacingly at Kim for a moment, but then lowered them and dropped on the couch with a sigh. Ron sat down beside her after Drakken released him from the cage. The room fell into an awkward silence, punctuated only by a harsh look that Shego gave Ron for sitting too close to her. He quickly scooted to the opposite end of the couch, but then decided it was best to choose a reclining chair and leave the entire couch to Shego.

Ron glanced over at the Christmas tree in anticipation. "Does Drakken really have something for me? When are we opening the presents?" Both of the girls ignored him.

"Just so you know, Princess, it wasn't my idea to invite you guys over here."

"I guessed as much, Shego. Is Drakken really not planning anything? He just dragged us over here this early in the morning to hang out?"

"Don't ask me, he's not my boyfriend!" Shego said a little defensively.

"Uh, I didn't say he was."

Another awkward silence filled the room.

"So, what is the deal with you guys anyway?"

"What deal?" Shego asked nervously.

"Well, are you guys still trying to take over the world? Ron and I haven't heard much from you since the Lorwardian invasion. It's kind of like you two dropped off the map after we all saved the world." Kim smirked at the thought of the United Nations conference.

"Oh," said Shego, looking relieved. "Yeah well, I guess we've been taking a bit of a break. If it was up to me we'd be doing something fun, but I don't know what's up with Doctor D lately. Maybe he's having a mid-life crisis or something."

"Okay everyone, I'm back with goodies! Gather round!" Drakken walked up with a silver tray holding four mugs of hot chocolate, sprinkled liberally with marshmallows.

Kim took her hot chocolate and sipped it cautiously. She was still standing up, nervous about the distinct lack of fighting or lasers. "Alright Drakken, you seriously don't have any evil plans? Your message sounded pretty threatening, why did -"

"Kim, that's not important right now," interrupted Ron. "What's important is what Drakken got me for Christmas. What is it Doctor D?"

"You'll see... um... sidekick. Let's open our presents now! What is your name again?"

"Ron Stoppable."

"Oh yes. Stoppable. You both have the strangest last names. Anyways, here you are!" Drakken retrieved a present from the Christmas tree and passed it to Ron, who immediately tore the newspaper away in a frenzy. Beneath the wrapping was a glossy box that sported a picture of a cheery mustachioed snowman, playing an acoustic guitar. Ron's eyes lit up with joy.

"The Snowman Hank Special Edition DVD! And it has a blooper reel! Okay, let's start watching this right now!"

"Good idea!" exclaimed Drakken. He ripped the box set out of Ron's hands and ran to the DVD player while Ron sat at the edge of his seat in anticipation.

Kim decided that Drakken did not seem to have any immediate surprises planned, so she sat down in the other reclining chair next to her boyfriend. She smiled at Ron's excitement. She knew that he already owned the Snowman Hank DVD's, but he probably wouldn't remember that until they got home. She still didn't know what to make of the situation, and she certainly didn't trust Shego, but at least Ron and Drakken were getting along.


	4. Shenanigans

**Shenanigans**

XX

Shego looked mildly disgusted as she stared at Ron flailing around on a blanket of snow beneath his back, making a snow angel. After watching what was, in Shego's opinion, an excessive amount of Snowman Hank episodes, Drakken had dragged her outside the lair's entrance along with Kim and Ron to play in the snow and make an effigy of Snowman Hank. The weather was much better than it had been the previous night – it was chilly outside, but the sun was shining, and a light breeze buffeted the occasional snowflake back and forth.

The breeze ruffled Shego's black hair against a new pair of obsidian earrings she was wearing. The earrings were her Christmas present from Drakken, along with a matching obsidian pendant that hung from a silver necklace. She had noticed the present under the tree and opened it quietly while Kim was distracted and Drakken and Ron were both engrossed in an episode of Snowman Hank. Shego knew it would be something embarrassing, probably accompanied by awkward comments from Drakken - the less attention it got, the better. Still, once she had seen the jewelry, she couldn't resist putting it on. Not for some gooey sentimental reason, of course. Drakken just happened to have a good eye for accessories.

Drakken and Ron had immediately jumped into the snow when they came outside, even having a snowball fight with each other, but Kim and Shego had been more hesitant; the whole situation was entirely too disconcerting. Kim finally joined in to help out when Drakken and Ron began rolling Snowman Hank's abdomen into shape. Shego refused to do anything besides stand, arms crossed, in silent judgment.

"Come on Shego," whined Drakken. "Why don't you help us make the thorax?"

"It's not an insect, Doctor D, it's a snowman."

Drakken packed a snowball together in his hands with a sneaky grin, and was about to aim it at Shego when she hissed at him. "How are you going to make a snowman with only one hand?" she asked, lighting her own hand and extending her claws menacingly.

"Um, just kidding of course Shego!" Drakken threw the snowball at Ron instead.

Ron wiped the snow off from his face. "Why don't you make a snow angel, Shego?"

Shego thought for a moment, and then walked over to the snow angel that Ron had just made. She stepped into the angel's body section and extended her toe, creating two grooves above the head of the angel. Ron looked quizzically at what she had done.

"I don't get it."

"It's a snow demon."

"Oh. Those are horns? That's sick and wrong, Shego. Where's your Christmas spirit!"

"I tied it up and beat it unconscious a while ago, buffoon."

Drakken and Kim finished rolling a third ball of snow for Snowman Hank's head and placed it carefully over his midsection. Rufus, who had been watching them from the comfort of Ron's coat pocket, climbed up the side of the snowman with a corncob pipe and a black comb - he had been unable to find a fake mustache. Drakken provided the finishing touches by adding a pair of coal eyes to the snowman's face and a stovepipe hat to his head. Everyone stood back to judge their creation, with the exception of Shego, who was doing her best to look completely uninterested in the situation.

Ron held out a thumb at the snowman and squinted one of his eyes. He wasn't sure what purpose the gesture served, but he knew it was artistic; he had seen Josh Mankey do it in their high school art classes.

"I don't know, the mustache looks weird. And what about a guitar?"

Drakken shook his head. "I sold my acoustic on Ebay after I went through my rock phase. I was a great shredder, but science is my scene, you know?"

"I dig," said Ron. "What do you think, KP?"

"It looks good to me. Exactly like Snowman Hank. I'm getting pretty cold, can we go back inside now?"

"Well, what do you know, the Princess actually has a good idea!" Shego stomped her boots at the entryway of the lair to shake off the snow and went inside. Drakken's shoulders slumped as he followed her like a child that had just been told to clean his room. Kim grabbed Ron by the waist and leaned against him as they followed behind the green and blue pair.

Once inside the lair, Rufus leaped from Ron's pocket and scurried down the hallway that led away from the lair's living room area. He had not eaten anything since the previous evening, before he and Ron came over to Kim's house, and his stomach was growling insistently. Rufus noticed a door that was hanging ajar at the end of the hallway; inside was an unusual-looking room with a black and green décor. He also passed by a room that led into a small gym, but neither of these interested him. Rufus passed a doorway on his right that revealed exactly what he was looking for: the kitchen!

Slipping inside the room, Rufus noticed a stainless steel refrigerator standing directly ahead of him. The mole rat tugged at a corner of the door with surprising strength - Mystical Monkey Powers sure came in handy when he needed them. He ducked down as the door swung open over his head. As he leaped from shelf to shelf inside the refrigerator, he found they were all empty. What in the world did evil villains eat? Rufus abandoned the refrigerator and acrobatically leaped up onto a kitchen counter. The counter was littered with a few pots and pans, plates, utensils, and some electronic devices that looked like they should not be in a kitchen at all, but Rufus could not find any food. He did find an empty jug of milk next to a strange looking device with a flat surface bordered by a pair of glass knobs, on which a few torn packages rested. Judging by the smell, Rufus decided they had been filled with chocolate powder. He opened up whatever cabinets he could reach, but most of them were empty.

"Rrrgh, no food!" Rufus squeaked. He stamped his foot and crossed his arms in exasperation. His strong sense of smell was picking out some kind of food, but it was not in the kitchen. It was farther away, deeper. Perhaps somewhere below him. The mole rat shrugged as he dived back down to the kitchen floor and exited the room. If only evil lairs had Bueno Nachos inside them!

XX

"So Princess, when are you and the buffoon getting married?"

Shego spread her arms out luxuriously across the back of the couch. Kim and Ron were sitting in the two reclining chairs which they had pulled more closely to each other, while Drakken was in the corner in front of the fireplace, trying to light a fire with some wet logs he had brought in.

"We're too young to be thinking about that, Shego. That's none of your business anyways."

"I don't know Kimmie, aren't you guys in college now? Sooner or later you're going to have to skip all your missions and stay at home to raise your little buffoon spawn. We have to think about the future!"

Kim narrowed her eyes at Shego. "What about you? Isn't it a little silly to be running around playing the evil villain at your age? Maybe you should settle down with some blue babies of your own." She pondered whether she should take a low blow, and decided Shego's reaction would be worth it. "Your biological clock has to be ticking by now... what are you, like thirty?"

"Rrrrrrrr!" Shego's hand erupted with a green flaming mass.

"Nnnnnghh!" said Drakken as he crouched in front of the fireplace. "Shego!"

"WHAT?"

"This fire won't start! I knew that sweeper must have done something wrong. I always say, if you want something done right, you have to do it -"

"Get out of my way, Doctor D!"

Drakken leaped aside with a high-pitched squeal as Shego flung a jet of plasma into the fireplace. The wood crackled with green-tinged flame as Shego sank back down into the couch, her anger satiated for the moment. Drakken sat down cautiously next to Shego. Normally she would have been annoyed by his closeness, especially with Kim and Ron sitting nearby, but she was suddenly lost in thought.

_Why didn't I attack Kim for that comment? s_he asked herself. _Maybe I'm getting soft. _She glanced over at Kim and Ron, who were staring at her awkwardly. Ron was not the type of guy that Shego would go for in a million years, but she had to admit that Ron and Kim seemed to click as a couple for some strange reason. She liked to tell herself that they were both ridiculous, but that deeper, buried part of her was envious of what they had. Recently, Shego had been noticing that the deeper parts of her were speaking in a louder voice.

"Uh, so Drakken," said Kim, "We haven't really heard much from you since you and Shego helped us stop the Lorwardians. What exactly have you guys been up to lately? I notice your laboratory over there is looking pretty messy."

Ron leaned over and whispered into Kim's ear. "Kim... I don't think he's going to admit his evil plans to you if you just come right out and ask him!"

"This is Drakken we're talking about," Kim whispered back. "You never know."

"Well Kim Possible, I have to admit I've been having a bit of a crisis lately. After that United Nations conference, I've been considering whether the path of world domination is really my true calling! I mean, after I helped, um..." Drakken gulped and forced himself to continue, "..._save the world_, people were finally giving me the recognition I justly deserved!"

Shego snorted.

"As I was saying, I've been wondering if I should put world domination on hold. Perhaps I should go into business... that cupcake enterprise seemed to work out fairly well."

"Yeah Doctor D, besides everything blowing up."

"Why must you bring up hurtful memories? But that raises another point – world domination isn't the safest pursuit. Perhaps I should be thinking more about the safety of my dear Shego here!" Drakken attempted to snake an arm over the couch behind Shego, but withdrew it hastily when he noticed her fingers curl into claws.

"Watch it, Drakken."

Kim had been listening to Drakken's speech with disbelief. "You really expect me to believe that you're giving up evil, Drakken?" she asked incredulously. "I'll buy that you're willing to call a truce on Christmas, but why should I believe you're one of the good guys now?"

"Now hold on just a moment, I didn't say I was good! I'm as bad as I wanna be, Kim Possible! I'm just saying that perhaps it would pay to keep my bad self a little more restrained."

"What do you think about this, Shego?" asked Kim.

Shego shrugged. "Whatever Drakken does is fine with me as long as I'm getting paid. But don't think I'm going to turn into some kind of do-gooder, Princess. What would I do if I didn't have you to kick around?"

"Well, you wouldn't get beaten as much."

Before Shego could respond, Ron pointed to the cluttered tables and equipment scattered around the laboratory across the room. "What's going on over there, then? You've got to be working on something, Doctor D!"

Drakken glanced over briefly and tried to look nonchalant. "Oh no, I just haven't cleaned up in a while. The only thing I've been working on is spreading Christmas cheer, buffoon!"

Ron nodded. "Alright, I buy it." He suddenly noticed that he was lacking a familiar weight in his pants pocket, and realized he hadn't seen his naked mole rat in a while. "Hey, anybody see where Rufus went?"

As if on cue, a pink blob raced from the hallway into the main room, and was about to rush past Ron's reclining chair when he leaned over and grabbed it. "Rufus, what's the hurry buddy?"

"No food," squeaked Rufus, pointing back to the kitchen and mimicking the act of stuffing food into his mouth.

"Shego! Didn't I tell you to get groceries?"

Shego stared at Drakken incredulously. "Um, I have an idea, how about YOU go?"

"You're the sidekick Shego, it's part of your sidekick duties."

Drakken's sidekick crossed her legs and picked up a magazine, whistling an aimless tune.

"Nnnnngh. Fine. I'll go shopping then."

"Hey," said Kim. "Why don't you bring Ron along? He's a good cook, he'll know what to get!" Kim leaned over and whispered conspiratorially to Ron. "Keep an eye on him. This sitch is still setting off my weirdar. Maybe they're just getting us comfortable so Drakken can poison us with egg nog or something."

"Uh, Kim, I doubt he's as bad a cook as you are." Ron gulped as a pair of green eyes shot him a piercing glare. "Oh, you meant literal poisoning. Have I told you how much I love you recently?"

Kim smiled. "Get going, Ron."

Ron looked down as his pink pet jumped from his pocket. "You're staying here, Rufus?"

The mole rat nodded. He knew Ron well, and he had seen enough of Drakken that he was not sure if he trusted either of them with the task of finding edible food. A tantalizing scent beckoned to Rufus, wafting up from somewhere beneath the lair, and his curiosity was getting the better of him.

Kim watched her boyfriend sprint off, following Drakken as he went through a door marked "garage". Rufus scampered off towards the stairs that led to the basement; for what reason, Kim could not even guess. As the room became deathly silent besides an occasional pop and sizzle from the fireplace, Kim realized that she was alone with Shego. She suddenly began to regret sending Ron off with Drakken.

"Soooo."

Shego ignored her, flipping the magazine to a new page.

"What are you reading?"

The black-haired woman sighed. "This is going to be awkward, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"You want to fight?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," shrugged Shego. "I think the universe is going to implode if you're here and I don't get to whale on you at least a bit."

"What, right here?"

"No, we have a little gym, there's room to have a match in there."

Shego flung the magazine aside and flexed her hands together as she got up. Kim sat pensively for a moment, and then followed her to the gym. As much as Kim hated to admit it, Shego was right. It just wouldn't be a visit to Drakken's lair if she didn't have a few bruises afterwards.

XX

A low-hanging cloud bank clung peacefully to the side of a mountain. Silence permeated the air, broken by the occasional call of a bird. The air was crisp, but the winds were much calmer than they were higher up at the mountain's peak. There was a certain Zen beauty to the whole scene. It was a picture perfect snapshot of nature, unspoiled and undisturbed.

The cloud bank was brutally torn apart by a circular blue object that hurtled from above. Inside the object sat a blue-skinned man, and a younger man with a head of sandy hair that fluttered wildly as the object dropped through the cloud cover.

"Booooyah!" yelled Ron as the hovercraft plunged into white mist.

"I told you buffoon, this is the way to go!"

"Man, you weren't kidding!"

"No, seriously though. It is the only way to go, we are on top of a mountain."

Ron looked over the edge of the hovercraft, much in the same way that a dog looks out the window of a moving car. As the flying vehicle reached the bottom of the mass of clouds and clear sky opened up beneath them, he saw a small Swiss hamlet spread out at the base of the mountain. Amongst a multitude of evergreen trees were nestled a variety of quaint buildings, some with smoke curling out of their chimneys. Ron could see an occasional car driving through the town's main cobblestone road, which ran past a general store and several of the larger buildings in the town's heart. Drakken piloted the hovercraft towards the center of the town, preparing to land in the middle of the road.

"Are you allowed to park there?"

"What? Obeying parking laws? Look, I know I'm trying to go straight here, but a man has to maintain some kind of image!"

Several interested townspeople gathered around the hovercraft as it landed in the cobblestone street, but most of the passersby seemed to ignore the commotion. Ron assumed it was a sight they had seen many times before. As Drakken climbed out of the vehicle, one townsman stepped closer to him.

"Are you Doctor Drakken?"

"Why, yes! I see my reputation precedes me. Don't worry, I have a pen with me. What would you like me to autograph?"

"Oh, I don't want an autograph. I was just wondering if you were the man my neighbor was complaining about when a U.F.O. almost landed on top of his car."

The man walked away as Drakken led Ron across the street to a general store. "I'm fairly well known here. Having a celebrity living nearby is a big deal for people in such a small village, after all."

"Whoa, badical! Which celebrity lives nearby?"

Drakken ignored the comment and entered the general store. He gave the cashier a wave of familiarity which was not returned, and then found himself pulled into a nearby grocery aisle as Ron recognized something he was looking for.

"Bingo! We need to get some stuff to make Christmas cookies, Doctor D. It just isn't Christmas without cookies."

"I beg to differ, sidekick. It just isn't Christmas without cocoa moo."

"Is that a Christmas specific drink, really? Seems like it's more in the general winterish area to me."

"Ah, but cookies aren't only for Christmas!"

"Christmas cookies are."

"Yes, but isn't that redundant? Wait, is redundant the right word?"

As Drakken perused the aisles to pick up a few toiletries and magazines, Ron noticed a display of cheeses set up in a corner. He enthusiastically grabbed various cheeses and looked at the labels, intending to buy a few as snacks for Rufus, but became annoyed when he could not find what he was looking for.

"What's up with this? No Swiss Cheese? We're in Switzerland for God's sake!"

Ron noticed the cashier look up from the counter at his agitated yelling. "Um, don't mind me. Just perusing your cheese selection." He suddenly dropped the cheeses he was holding as he glanced out the store's front windows and noticed a wooden, hand-carved sign hanging from a storefront across the street.

"Hey!" Ron grabbed Drakken by the arm as he walked by. "Is that a video game store?"

The cashier sighed and wearily stepped out from behind the counter to flag down the two figures who had just run out of the store without paying. Out-of-towners...

XX

Rufus picked his way through a dark maze of shafts that crisscrossed through the walls and ceilings of Drakken's lair. Some of the shafts were large, but some were barely wide enough for him to squeeze through. The maze was pitch black except on the occasions that a utility light was installed for some unknown purpose or a vent let in light from a room. Rufus did not need light; he could smell the food getting closer, and for some reason the vent system gave him a comforting sense of familiarity. Rufus always felt at home when he was crawling through air shafts with Kim and Ron, especially if it was an earthy underground lair, although he could not explain why. As Rufus turned a corner in the narrow air vent through which he was currently traveling, he felt himself smack into a spider web.

"Ack, ptooey!" he spat as the tendrils of silk tangled around him. Ventilation shafts were nice, but Rufus definitely did not enjoy spider webs. At the end of the shaft, Rufus could see a gloomy bluish light emanating from a grating. His nose twitched as he came nearer; the food was definitely nearby. Through the crisscrossed pattern of the grating, Rufus could make out a low-ceilinged but wide room containing a variety of random boxes and objects. It seemed to be some kind of storage area.

"Hiiiya!" Rufus backed up and employed an impressive flying kick that sent the grating sailing out into the room. He scurried into the room, which was fairly dark except for a few blue lights that cast a sickly glow over various rows of shelves and stacked boxes. Here and there an electronic device rested, lonely and forgotten, in a corner or on a metal storage shelf. Some of the devices reminded Rufus of laser guns. Some had glass orbs and antennae jutting out as if they were insects deep in slumber, and some were too strange to describe at all. Rufus thought there was something eerie about the room.

As he sniffed through the room, he found a strange shape lying with its back to one row of boxes. At first, Rufus thought it was one of the Bebe robots – he remembered how dangerous those were – but as he peered through the gloom he decided it did not look female. It seemed like it was a little larger than his friend Ron, but it was sitting down, legs jutting straight ahead and arms hanging stiffly by its sides. The figure's mouth seemed to be open, as if it had been frozen in mid-speech. Rufus could see two rows of large white teeth, and a gray tuft of hair hung that hung from the figure's chin, but no eyes.

Rufus suddenly lost interest in the figure in front of him when he realized that the smell of the food was emanating from the boxes behind it. He noticed a logo on the side of one box: "Hank's Gourmet Cupcakes." Rufus ran forward and leaped over the top of the figure. Resting on a box behind the figure was a small black electronic object that looked a bit like a television remote. In the center of the remote was a single red button. Rufus jumped on the device and and vaulted off of it - his mouth open and hands outstretched, the mole rat tore through the cardboard logo of a box in front of him like a bullet and buried himself into a cupcake. He failed to hear the electronic device behind him beep faintly, while a red glow shone from its single button.

Several of the delicious cupcakes were virtually inhaled before Rufus started to slow down. He considered going to sleep in the box; being surrounded by food was not a bad way to take a nap. Rufus was about to make himself a cupcake nest when he heard a rustling noise outside the box.

"Mmmm, hello?" Rufus poked his head out of the ragged cardboard hole he had bored. Was Ron looking for him? He noticed a small rectangular electronic device which he had not seen earlier, resting on the top of the smaller box in front in him. The red button on the device was lit up, and Rufus was tempted to press it, but his short attention span was currently being dominated by the urge to take a nap. Since there was no further noise, he was about to crawl back inside the box when he noticed that the strange figure which had been sitting nearby was gone. Rufus' whiskers twitched as he looked around the room.

Suddenly a dark blur smashed against the box with astonishing speed. Rufus was thrown onto the ground, where he scampered away and cowered behind a corner in fear. The strange figure tore apart several boxes, consuming the remaining cupcakes inside before they even hit the ground. It seemed to slow down a little bit after it finished off the cupcakes, as if it was getting lethargic, but Rufus knew it was still fast enough to catch him. The mole rat looked over at the open air shaft he had used to enter the room; it was small enough that Rufus could escape without being followed.

As Rufus crept towards the vent, the figure's head suddenly swiveled around and gazed directly at him. The mole rat was exposed in plain view. Arms stretched out, fingers curled like claws, the figure marched towards Rufus with a stiff gait. Rufus noticed the small electronic device lying on its side in front of the creature. A red button glowed at him like a malevolent eye, when suddenly a foot stepped on the device, cracking its plastic shell as electronic innards poured out. The creature's mouth clacked open and shut several times as it stared at Rufus, uttering a single word:

"FOOD."


	5. Uninvited Guests

**Uninvited Guests**

XX

The sun sank low in the sky as the afternoon dragged on outside of the alpine lair. Mountain crags and peaks broke through an otherwise monotonous horizon, and the sun's rays were scattered as they passed through the barred windows of Drakken's lair. Kim and Shego walked out of the lair's gym doors, water bottles in hand and towels hanging from their shoulders. They had just taken a shower to cool off from their intense grappling, and were about to relax in front of the television, when Drakken raced past them with a couple bags of groceries. He threw the bags into the kitchen and then passed the pair again on the way to the living room. The girls looked at each other with raised eyebrows as they followed him.

Kim watched a lattice of orange light fall from the window across Drakken's back as he stood in front of the television and angrily switched channels. She checked her watch. At this rate, she and Ron were going to completely miss spending Christmas day with her family. She had decided that Drakken wasn't up to any nefarious plots, but did that mean she should tell them she had to leave? Was it impolite to ditch your arch enemy and go home early when he wanted to hang out? Kim was amazed that she could even ask herself these questions.

"Um, hey Drakken?"

"Hold on just one moment, Kim Possible. I swear it's on one of these channels, I just keep forgetting to write down the number."

"What?"

"Don't worry! We won't be missing Agony County. Not if I have anything to say about it!"

Kim turned to Shego and mouthed, _is he serious?_ The green-hued woman smirked and nodded.

Ron walked into the room from the garage. "You should have seen it, Kim!" he said. "We went down the side of the mountain in the hovercraft, it was like a roller coaster ride! And there's just the cutest little village when you get to the bottom!"

Ron watched Drakken fiddling around with the television for a moment, and then looked around the room. "Where's Rufus, anyways?"

Kim shrugged. "I haven't seen him in a while. The last time I saw him, he went down into the basement for some reason."

Drakken turned from the television for a moment to stare at his teen guests. "You're not allowed to go down there!" he declared.

"Right," said Kim. "Maybe he's sleeping somewhere in here, Ron. Hey Rufus, where are you hiding?"

Kim was about to get up and help Ron search the main room when a grating suddenly popped out from a nearby wall. Rufus materialized out of the darkness of the vent and rushed up onto Ron's shoulder, chattering wildly and pointing at the floor.

"What is it, Rufus?" Ron interpreted his mole rat's gesticulations. "The basement? Something happened in the basement? Wait a minute, why do you smell like frosting?"

Everyone in the living room suddenly froze at the sight of someone standing across the room from them, framed by the doorway of the stairs leading down into the lair's basement. The person was slightly taller than anyone else in the room, standing stiffly at attention like a soldier, and looked like it was wearing some kind of colorful uniform and crown. It had a wispy mustache that hung below an open mouth. As the figure stared at them, Kim realized what it was: a human-sized nutcracker styled to look like a king.

"Food!" the nutcracker suddenly exclaimed as it dashed towards them. Its stiff arms and legs belied its great speed; Kim barely had time to put herself in fighting position before it was on top of them.

"Everyone get back!" Kim blocked an arm that came down in an overhand chop, and lashed out with a powerful kick to the nutcracker's chest. It stumbled back a step, but quickly came back with a flurry of chops that Kim found herself hard pressed to block.

"It's too fast! I don't think I can hold it back for long!" Kim almost tripped as the nutcracker came at her with a low kick. She tried to get away from it, but she was not fast enough to do anything more than fend off its barrage of attacks. Suddenly the nutcracker found an opening in her defenses and grabbed her arm in its mouth. The nutcracker's teeth seemed to be blunt, but its jaws clamped down powerfully on Kim's arm. She screamed and tried to shake it off, but it would not release itself.

"Kim!"

Ron suddenly felt a rush of Mystical Monkey Power coursing through him as he saw the strange thing biting down on Kim's arm. He had not been able to control the power at will since he defeated the Lorwardians, but it seemed to come in bursts when things looked dire, or when Kim was in danger. Ron rushed forward and kicked the nutcracker powerfully in the side of its head, his concentration suddenly honed by the sight of Kim in pain. Her arm broke free from the grip of its vice-like mouth as it tumbled backwards. It got up awkwardly, shifting its attention to Ron.

"Ron, distract it for a minute," Kim said. She ran back towards the laboratory and leaped acrobatically over the square panel in the floor that had set off the descending cage trap on Ron that morning. The nutcracker pursued Ron in circles around the couch in the living room area. Shego had been standing back for a few moments, apparently unsure as to whether she should be helping Kim fight or not, but she decided to join the fray as she attacked the nutcracker with a pair of green fireballs. Kim stood with the trap panel situated between herself and the melee on the other side of the room.

"Guys, let it come over here!" she yelled. "Hey weird old man thing! Come and get me!" The nutcracker ignored her and continued to pursue Ron, but Shego noticed what she was trying to do and ran over to Kim's side of the room. She threw a green fireball at the nutcracker and taunted it along with Kim, causing it to turn around and dash towards its assailants. As it stepped on the panel, Kim worried that it would be too fast to be caught by the cage, but metal bars slammed down just in time to capture it.

As the nutcracker flailed about in its prison, Kim immediately turned on Drakken in a rage. "I knew it, Drakken! I knew this was all some kind of plan! What is that thing?"

"No, it's not what you think!" Drakken sputtered. "I didn't mean for it to be activated yet, it's still in a prototype stage! It's a nutcracker doll that I've been developing to sell to children."

Kim gaped. "Children... what... alright, whatever, but why is it attacking us?"

"Well, clearly there a few bugs to work out. Don't judge my work when it isn't finished yet!"

Ron interrupted the argument to point at the cage. "Um, guys, it's about to break through the bars."

They turned to see the nutcracker grasping a bar between its teeth and steadily bending it outwards to create more space. One leg was already outside of the cage, and the rest of its body was desperately trying to force its way through.

"Quick, we have to find a place to hide!" yelled Kim as she grabbed Ron's arm and sprinted down the hallway. She ran to an open door at the end of the hallway and pushed Ron inside, stepping aside as Drakken ran into the room whimpering. Shego saw which door Kim was holding open and stopped.

"Oh, no! You guys aren't hiding in my room!"

"Shego, just get in here quick!" Kim saw the nutcracker manage to break free from the cage bars and start moving towards them at an unsettling pace. She slipped in after Shego and slammed the door just before it had enough time to reach them.

"Help me block the door with some furniture," said Kim as she grabbed a nearby dresser drawer and pushed it away from the wall. Various knick-knacks, a lamp, and a picture frame fell off of the dresser as she shifted it. Shego looked extremely annoyed at her belongings being manhandled, but she helped push the dresser into position against the doorway. At least for the moment, they were safe.

XX

Back at the Possible family residence, Jim and Tim were staring impatiently at the pile of presents under the tree. Their parents had explained that they needed to wait for Kim and Ron to come back from their mission, since it wasn't Christmas without them, but this was just torture. A few more hours and it would be evening! As far as the twins were concerned, opening presents any later than Christmas morning was sheer blasphemy.

"Mooom!" whined the twins in unison. "Can't we just open _our_ presents, and Kim and Ron can open theirs when they get back?"

Anne shook her head. "Boys, be patient! We all open our presents together."

James looked at the time on his watch, slightly concerned. "You know, honey, it is getting pretty late. Maybe we should talk to Wade and see if they're alright."

"You're right," agreed Anne. She opened her cell phone and dialed Wade's number, which she had saved for occasions when she needed to check up on Kim if her daughter was on a mission and hard to reach in person.

"Hello... Mrs. Possible?"

"Hey Wade. Do you know if Kim and Ron are almost done with their mission?"

"Hold on, let me ask Kim." There was a brief silence as Wade tried to raise a link with the Kimmunicator. "Mrs. Possible? Kim's not answering me. It's probably nothing, sometimes the signal might be blocked or Kim is just too busy to get the Kimmunicator out."

"Alright, thanks Wade." Anne hung up the phone and told her husband that Wade could not get in contact with their daughter.

"Well," said James, "that does it. She goes out on a mission and doesn't even come back for Christmas, and now she's not answering the phone? We're just going to have to celebrate Christmas at Lipsky's place. It's not Christmas without my Kimmie Cub, after all. Boys, get your coats and pick up those presents, we're taking them with us. It's time to pay a visit to Kimmie's nemesis for Christmas!"

Jim and Tim leaped up from the carpet, where they had been laying in a catatonic state, and gave each other an enthusiastic high-five. "Christmas in an evil lair? Hoosha!"

XX

Ron looked around at the room's green and black motif with great interest. Over the years he spent hanging out at Kim's house, he had grown very familiar with her room, but if Ron was being honest, he couldn't remember seeing any other girl's rooms before. Not to mention that Shego was on the evil side of things. Did her room look evil? Ron couldn't decide. He did notice a few copies of _Evil Digest_ and _Supervillain Quarterly_ strewn about on the floor next to Shego's comfortable-looking bed. A few fashion and gossip magazines were also laying around. They did not seem to have a particularly evil theme to them, although Ron figured that they might be evil depending on who you asked.

The room was occupied by Shego's bed, a bedside cabinet and lamp, a small television, the dresser drawer which had been pushed against the door, and a writing desk, but beyond that the room was strikingly bare. The bed, which did not look like it had been made since Shego got up that morning, was covered with a mess of black sheets overlaid with a thin green crisscrossing pattern. They complimented the green carpeting of the floor, and the black window drapes that framed a single window in the far wall of the room, opposite the door. A pair of closet doors set into the wall opposite Shego's bed were closed. Ron wondered whether or not Shego's closet contained a collection of the same villain outfit she seemed to wear every time he and Kim saw her on a mission.

Ron looked around at the walls and noticed there were no pictures or posters hanging anywhere, but he did notice a single framed photograph lying on the floor, where it had been knocked from the dresser. A black frame contained a photograph of a group of children whom Ron did not recognize, although they looked familiar. A young girl with black hair stood at the far right of the photograph, almost cropped out. She was smiling, but for some reason Ron felt there was something sad about the smile. A larger boy was in the center, and around him stood a skinny boy and a pair of twins that looked younger than the rest of the children.

"Mind your own business, buffoon."

His thoughts interrupted, Ron looked up in surprise as Shego grabbed the picture frame and placed it inside a bedside cabinet drawer she had opened. He shrugged and turned back to Drakken and Kim, who were conversing with each other in low tones on the far end of the room from the barricaded door.

"You seriously made that thing for children?"

"You don't need to take that tone with me, Kim Possible. It's a prototype that I built for testing purposes before I start assembling them in mass. It's part of my plan to break into legitimate business! Like where the stealing is legal and you don't go to jail for it. Besides, what child wouldn't want a festive Christmas nutcracker doll to play with?"

"Uh, the ones that aren't eighty years old?" Ron interjected.

Kim ignored him and asked, "Why is your children's doll trying to eat us?"

"Well, you see, I thought children would find it more amusing if they could feed it. The nutcracker has special sensors that determine if it has eaten recently, and it gets excited if it hasn't been fed. When the children feed it, it gets sleepy and slows down, so they can rock it like a baby!"

Ron scratched his head. "But it's a nutcracker doll... it looks like an old guy! And it's the size of an old guy!"

"That _is_ pretty gorchy," agreed Kim.

"I was in a Christmas frame of mind, alright?" Drakken folded his arms together and grumbled to himself. "Why do I always have to deal with haters?"

"Why is it so fast?" asked Kim.

"I may have recycled some technology from the Bebe robots when I was making it. After all, you know what they say... waste not, want not!"

Shego rolled her eyes. "So your programming genius has made the nutcracker eating machine decide we're its next meal. Great. How do we stop this thing?"

"It has a remote control. All we have to do is press the power button and it will turn off."

"And where is this remote control, Doc?"

Drakken rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Um... in the basement."

"_In the basement? _Rrrggghh!"

Shego's hands lit up with green flame, but Kim moved to block her. "Hold on on a minute. We can just send Rufus down through the air vents to find the remote and turn it off! Rufus, did you see the remote down there?"

It was now Rufus' turn to rub the back of his neck nervously. "Errmmm, smashed?" He pantomimed the awkward gait of the nutcracker, and stamped his foot emphatically on the floor as if he was stepping on something.

"It stepped on the remote control?" groaned Shego. "Can I beat up Drakken now?"

They were interrupted by a loud thumping sound against the door. Everyone watched in horror as the door shuddered and rang out with another loud thumping sound. Several jagged lines darted across the wood paneling as a section of the door began to splinter.

"We need some kind of plan, guys... I don't think I can beat this thing in hand to hand combat, it's just too fast," said Kim as Shego nodded in agreement.

"Wait," said Drakken. "I have an idea! We need to get into the kitchen."

"How are we going to do that? We'd have to get past that thing."

"We're going to have to go out the window and climb onto the roof. There should be ventilation shafts leading down to the kitchen from up there."

Ron clapped his hands together and exclaimed, "Dude! I am glad you villain types always put more ventilation in your lairs than you know what to do with!"

Shego opened the window and flinched as a draft of cold air poured in. In a sight which Kim would have found hilarious under different circumstances, Drakken wrapped her arms around Shego's neck and clung to her back as she stepped out and latched onto the lair's wall with her claws, beginning to climb. Kim and Ron embraced each other as she pulled out her grappling gun. She climbed onto the window ledge, and was about to shoot the hook up over the roof when she saw a section of paneling on the door of Shego's room crack open. A bearded face pushed itself through and peered inside, mouth clacking wildly.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"


	6. Arrivals and Departures

**Arrivals and Departures**

XX

Anne watched with amusement as Jim and Tim crowded around the Wade-Bot 2000, poking and prodding at its various metallic appendages and gadgets. Wade had sent his robot to tag along with them and scout for danger before they actually entered Drakken's lair. Wade himself could not come along, since his mother had insisted that spending Christmas with her was of greater importance then running off with his red-haired friend on one of her capers. They were flying in James' experimental jet aircraft from the Middleton Space Center, and at the speed the jet was going, they would get to their destination in no time at all.

"What's this knob for, Wade?" asked Tim.

"Please don't touch that." The Wade-Bot jerked back as curious fingers inched towards the knob.

"Ron told us this thing has stealth mode! Can you show us, pleeease?"

Wade was more than willing to demonstrate his technological prowess. A translucent blur suddenly masked the robot, blending it seamlessly into its surroundings. Jim and Tim gaped in awe.

"How did you get the Photon Refractors to respond to electromagnetic waves?"

"Oh, just a little bit of magic that I like to call Science."

The landscape outside of the jet's windows became more ragged and rocky as they whizzed by. The jet began rise in altitude as they entered a snowy mountain range. James' voice carried back to them from the cockpit. "We're almost there. Get ready everyone!"

XX

Kim's feet landed on the cold tiles of the lair's kitchen floor. She raced over to the door, which was ajar, and carefully eased it shut before the nutcracker robot could hear them and come looking for its meal. Her boyfriend and arch foes dropped down into the kitchen behind her, cold and exhausted.

"I can't believe I missed Agony County," cried Drakken pathetically from the floor.

Kim rolled her eyes. "Um, so not the issue right now. Can that thing get in here, Drakken?"

"I'm not sure, but the kitchen door is made out of metal. It should at least last longer."

"Alright. Everyone keep quiet just in case."

Drakken dusted some snow off his coat and pants, which had coated him after he tripped on the roof multiple times. "Now that we're in the kitchen, we can find some food and feed it to the creature. It should slow down enough that we can defeat it." He grinned triumphantly and opened the refrigerator. In front of him was a white expanse of empty shelves and racks. "Oh, snap."

"That's why you went out and bought groceries, fool," said Shego as she turned to the brown paper grocery bags on the kitchen counter. She pulled the contents out of the first bag with a look of incredulity. Toilet paper, magazines, several video games... "where's the food? Did you _seriously_ not buy any food?"

Finally, she reached the last grocery bag, which contained a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, some flour, sugar, and a few spices. It was almost food, at least. "Why the heck did buy this stuff?"

"Oh, those are for the Christmas cookies, Shego! I thought we could make them together," said Drakken in a suggestive tone that made Shego's eye twitch.

Ron grabbed the ingredients. "Badical! We have an oven, and I'm pretty much the man when it comes to baking, so we got this in the bag! Or, um, out of the bag." He looked through the cabinets until he found a metal cookie sheet, and was about to start arranging the ingredients when he abruptly stopped. A fiendish gleam sparkled in his eye as he turned to stare at Kim with a grin.

Kim gulped. "Ron, why are you looking at me like that?"

XX

Flurries of snow billowed out from the roof of Drakken's alpine lair as the Possible family touched down in their jet. Wade had scanned the complex and did not see any signs of missile defense systems or traps, and James had recently given the jet several stealth upgrades with some help from Wade. One upgrade helped minimize the noise of the jet's thrusters, and another modification, based on the Wade-Bot 2000's technology, gave the jet a nearly transparent stealth mode that it could use to avoid being spotted easily by sight.

"Alright guys, I'll send the Wade-Bot out and check things out first. I'll give you a heads up when I know what's going on." The robot trundled down the jet's exit ramp onto the lair's roof.

Jim and Tim ignored Wade in their excitement to see the lair, and were about to run down the ramp themselves when Anne stopped them. "Hold on a minute, boys. We'll be outside soon enough!"

Wade piloted his robot around the roof and inspected it for entrance points into the lair. After getting an idea of the layout, he peered over the edge of the wall that held the front entrance of the lair. Below him was a small patch of ground, almost like a front lawn, that extended a few dozen yards before it terminated in the jagged rock of the cliff side. Wade noticed that the snowy ground was covered in numerous footprints. Among the prints stood a snowman with a hat and a black comb on its face – Wade zoomed in to be sure and yes, that was indeed a comb. Beside the snowman was a snow angel, although it had some strange protrusions coming out of its head.

Beyond the Christmas scene below, a movement caught Wade's eye. He shifted the robot's view to the edge of the cliff and saw a human figure climbing over it. The figure walked onto the snowy entry ledge of Drakken's lair. Wade zoomed in closer; the figure was a bit difficult to make out in the rapidly dimming evening light, but Wade could see that it was a stout, middle-aged woman with a very retro-looking pair of glasses, wearing a colorful floral print dress and carrying a black purse.

"Ooookay," said Wade. How in the world had she gotten up the cliff?

XX

The kitchen doorway was barely open, just enough for a pair of green eyes framed by wild red hair to peer out nervously into the hallway. The eyes observed that the hall was empty and motionless, and they darted back into the room temporarily.

"Alright guys," whispered Kim, "it looks like we're clear. Let's move out!"

Kim edged into the hallway holding a tray of what, at first glance, might be mistaken for freshly baked cookies. On closer inspection, one would be less certain they were cookies, especially if one happened to smell them, but the objects did give a general impression of cookieness. The remaining occupants of the kitchen tiptoed out out of the door and stayed behind Kim's back. She walked backwards in the direction of the main room, keeping her eye on the splintered door of Shego's room down the hallway. Shego herself kept her eye in the direction of the main room with her own tray of cookies, in case the nutcracker was waiting for them in there. Ron and Drakken were happy to stay in the center of the group, using Kim and Shego as cover.

Kim leaned over and placed cookies on the ground at regular intervals until they finally got to the main room. The nutcracker was not waiting for them there, so they assumed it was waiting somewhere down the hallway, perhaps in Shego's room. Hopefully the robot would eat the cookies, satisfying the freakish feeding algorithms that Drakken had etched into its electronic mind, and it would slow down before it came at them. Shego finished placing her remaining cookies on the ground.

Kim took a defensive stance and asked, "Is everyone ready?"

The rest of the group nodded while Shego took a position alongside her, facing the hallway.

Kim stood awkwardly for a moment, unsure of how to attract the nutcracker's attention, when she finally shrugged. "Heeere nutcracker. Come and get some nice food!" she called in a singsong voice.

"Convincing, Princess."

"Well I don't know, what else am I supposed to do?"

The group stared down the hallway, but nothing came out of Shego's door. The air was thick with an uneasy silence. Rufus poked out of Ron's pocket where he had been hiding and scratched his head in confusion. Several moments passed, and still their hungry foe did not appear.

"Maybe it thinks we're trying to trap it," offered Shego.

"You think I should get closer to the room and see if I can attract its attention?"

"Good idea Kimmie. You should go do that."

Kim glanced at Shego huffily, but did not have any better ideas.

She was about to edge closer to the hallway entrance when suddenly Ron and Drakken let out simultaneous high-pitched squeals behind her. She whirled around and gasped at the sight of the figure beyond the laboratory area of the main room, framed by the doorway of the basement staircase. The nutcracker wasn't in Shego's room; it had gone back down into the basement!

Ron was bowled over as the nutcracker leaped on top of him. Shego was surprised to see Drakken actually slap ineffectually at the nutcracker in an attempt to get it off Ron instead of just running away, but she pushed him aside and caught his creation's attention with a powerful roundhouse kick. Ron managed to crawl back a few feet as both Shego and Kim assaulted the nutcracker.

"Watch out, Shego!" cried Kim as the nutcracker tried to latch onto a green arm with its powerful grasp. Kim kicked viciously at its legs while Shego punched it in the chest, but they were both missing most of their shots. The nutcracker was just too fast for them to land any reliable hits. Finally, Shego and Kim managed to grab hold of each of the nutcracker's arms, but it performed an unexpected spinning motion and sent them both flying backwards.

The nutcracker was about to attack them when it noticed a cookie on the ground and picked it up, stuffing it greedily into a gaping maw. It turned its attention back to Kim after it gulped down the snack, when suddenly it paused. If a man-sized nutcracker robot could have a facial expression, it would have looked very concerned as it stared down at its stomach.

"I think it's working!" yelled Ron as he watched the battle.

Kim got back up and poised her hands in a striking pose as the nutcracker resumed its attack. Shego suddenly intercepted it and landed several hard punches, causing it to stumble backwards. The robot flailed at Shego several times with karate chopping motions. Although it was definitely moving more slowly, one of the strikes hit Shego in the shoulder, causing her to cry out and step away from her assailant. She formed two plasma balls in her hands and flung them at the nutcracker, but it ducked the shots and charged her headfirst, hitting her square in the chest and knocking the wind from her lungs as she hit the ground. The nutcracker was on top of her before she knew it, jaws clacking madly as it leaned down to take a bite.

"You wouldn't like her, she's a bit sour. Why don't you try this instead?"

The nutcracker turned just in time to see Kim stuff a handful of cookies into its face. It couldn't help but swallow the cookies when it registered the food in its mouth, but it immediately regretted the decision. A low rumbling sound echoed from deep within its stomach as the nutcracker suddenly released Shego and stood up. Everyone watched in fascination as it started to vibrate.

"FOOD... DOES NOT... COMPUTE," it garbled as a plume of smoke rose from its head. It tried to take a few steps towards Kim, but toppled over awkwardly, open-mouthed and lost in a jumble of stiff limbs. A noise emanated from its body which sounded distinctly like circuits fizzing. The room was silent for a few moments as everyone stayed in place, expecting the twisted mass to get up. It did not.

Ron walked up to the nutcracker, poking it gingerly with his foot. The prone form did not respond, and Ron turned to Kim with a grin. "KP! Your horrible cooking killed it!" He gave the crumpled mass of metal a vaguely obscene hip-thrusting gesture. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles, huh robot?"

Kim looked annoyed for a brief second, but then laughed and grabbed Ron in a warm embrace.

"How do you like that, Doctor D!"

Drakken, who had been standing back nervously, was surprised to feel Shego grab him impulsively by the waist and pull him in for an kiss. "Mmmf, Shego, whmf are ymmf dnng?" he tried to ask, but he suddenly realized what was happening and decided to let Shego have her way.

Kim and Ron were about to gasp in surprise at the scene before them, when a crashing sound from the living room area made them jump. They turned and saw the Wade-Bot 2000 standing in the hearth of the fireplace, covered in soot and displaying Wade's face on its monitor.

"Sorry guys, I was trying to sneak down the chimney to see what was -" Wade stopped and stared at Drakken and Shego with his own gasp of surprise. "What the?"

"Drewbie?"

Wade, Ron, and Kim turned yet again to the front door of the lair, where Drakken's mother was standing in a puddle of slush. The room echoed with a another surprised gasp as she took in the sight before her and clasped her hands together. "Oh, my little Drewbie finally found himself a lady! And it's your radio assistant too!"

"Mother, please!"

Shego looked at the other occupants of the room as if noticing them for the first time, and began to regret her impulsiveness. She wondered if it was possible to immolate herself with her own plasma flame.

No one in the room was sure of what to do next. Shego looked like she wanted to disappear, and both Ron and Kim were fairly certain that any comment at this point would result in a green fireball sailing towards them. Kim was about to help the Wade-Bot untangle itself from the fireplace hearth, where it seemed to be stuck on the iron grate, when she noticed something move in the corner of her eye. She turned and gasped; the nutcracker robot was standing up again!

"BAD FOOD... DIGESTED. MORE... FOOD... REQUIRED."

A few sparks were flying from the nutcracker's mouth as it droned on, but it suddenly dashed towards Kim with renewed speed. She was steeling herself to block its attack when Ron suddenly appeared between them with a handful of Kim's cookies. "Hey, crazy robot thing! Have a bite of these!"

"DO NOT... WANT."

Ron paused for a moment, and then threw the cookies away and retrieved a confused Rufus from his pocket. He held the mole rat in the air and waved him at the nutcracker. "Have a bite of this, then!"

"Ron, no sacrificing Rufus!" said Kim in a disapproving tone.

Kim was surprised to see Ron dash towards the open front door, where Mrs. Lipsky was still standing with a confused look. The nutcracker followed close on his heels, and Drakken's mother leaped aside just in time to avoid being sacked as the two figures raced out the door into the deepening darkness of the evening.

"Rufus, do me a favor buddy," said Ron to the naked mole rat clutched in his hands. "Tell me when we're getting close to the cliff, I can't see very well out here."

Ron ran as fast as his legs could carry him, although the thick carpet of snow outside was slowing him down. He flew past Hank the Snowman and Shego's snow demon, past the lair's "keep out" sign, with one destination in mind. An indignant cry came from between his hands, where Rufus squeaked "Cliff!" and pointed wildly at the looming drop ahead of them.

As Ron recognized the white ground a few yards ahead of him suddenly shift to black, he could almost feel the nutcracker's claws grasping at his clothing He skidded to a halt just before the ground fell away, and threw Rufus into the air directly above him as he simultaneously jumped to the side into a snowdrift.

The nutcracker, which had been on the verge of grabbing Ron, was suddenly confused as one of its victims disappeared while the other sailed into the air. Too excited to slow down, the nutcracker leaped up in an attempt to grab its pink meal, but could not reach high enough to grasp it. As it landed, it found itself teetering on the edge of a rock wall that dropped down into nothingness. The nutcracker's arms flailed wildly as it tried to regain its balance.

"Hiiiya!"

The robot felt a powerful kick land directly on its back. It sailed out into the sky and dropped like a stone for several moments. The nutcracker's vision was sharper than that of a normal human being, but a canvas of pitch black darkness obscured everything below it. Finally the blackness parted, revealing a nasty collection of jagged rocks below. As the rocks rushed closer, the nutcracker realized it would not be getting a meal anytime soon.

"OH... SNAP."


	7. A New Leaf?

**A New Leaf?**

XX

The fireplace crackled warmly, casting a glow over the Christmas festivities in Drakken's lair. Curled up next to Ron on the couch, Kim watched with a smile as her family exchanged presents with each other, which they had brought to the lair from the house in order to open them with Kim and Ron. Drakken and his mother were both chatting with Kim's parents, and seemed to be having a good time The twins were cackling madly as they held up a batch of experimental rocket fuel; the card had their parents listed on it, but Kim knew her father had probably spent a long time convincing her mother it was a good idea.

"Boys, no modifying Drakken's technology!" yelled James as the twins tried to run off towards the laboratory. "Come back here and spend time with your family!"

Kim leaned over to the coffee table and grabbed a Christmas cookie from a heaping plate. Ron had made a new batch of the cookies after everyone finished congratulating him for dispatching the insane nutcracker. Kim had been very impressed by his quick thinking, and when Ron came back into the lair after his victory, she had given him a very passionate kiss in reward. Ron looked like he was in a good mood now, albeit tired. Even Rufus seemed to be enjoying himself as he gorged on the plate of cookies. At first, he had been angry with Ron for unexpectedly throwing him into the air as bait for a ravenous robot, but Christmas cookies were the way to a naked mole rat's heart.

"My present sure looks good on you, Kim." Ron had given his girlfriend a sweater with an image of a Pandaroo Cuddlebuddy stitched onto the front. He had taught himself knitting in order to make the sweater for her. Kim thought it was a perfect combination of goofy and thoughtful.

She looked down at the sweater. "I wonder how much I can get for it in a pawn shop?"

"What?"

"I'm just kidding Ron, I love it," laughed Kim as she leaned over to kiss her boyfriend on the forehead. Her present to Ron was a wrestling video game that he had been mentioning a lot recently, _Pain King: Royal Rumble in the Ring_, which Pain King himself had signed as a favor to her. Ron had been very excited when he opened it, and Kim knew he would enjoy playing it with Felix over their remaining break. Fortunately it was not one of the video games that Ron and Drakken had bought for themselves while they were out shopping earlier.

Kim looked around, realizing that one black and green-clad member of the party was not present. Shego had been sitting around in the living room as people began to open presents earlier, but it looked like she had slipped away at some point in order to avoid the good cheer.

"Hey Ron," said Kim as she got off the couch, "I'll be back in a bit, alright?"

"Alright, KP."

Kim had some idea of where Shego might be hiding, so she walked down the hallway that led past the kitchen to a splintered door that still hung ajar. Inside, sitting at the edge of her bed, a black haired figure stared out of her bedroom window at a flurry of snowflakes that twinkled in the inky night air.

"Mind if I come in, Shego?" asked Kim after she rapped on the broken door frame.

Shego looked behind her, then turned back with a shrug. "Whatever, Princess. But you'd better not be here to give me a hard time about Drakken. It was just a heat of the moment thing, that's all! I just got excited about that nutcracker getting busted up and got a little impulsive and-"

"I'm not gonna to give you a hard time," said Kim as she sat on the bed beside Shego, looking out of the window. "I guess you don't like the festive atmosphere too much, huh?"

"You got that right."

Kim was silent for a moment, pondering how she should proceed. "So is this just another Christmas truce, like that time Ron and Drakken were stuck at the North Pole?"

"I don't know," said Shego. "Drakken already told you he's not interested in the evil business anymore. I guess he's been thinking about going legit, ever since he saved the world from the Lorwardians and realized he could get people to pay attention to him without forcing it out of them. Maybe he's getting tired of going to jail all the time, too. Not to mention you riding in on your high horse and screwing all his schemes up."

"Hey, it's what I do. What about you though, Shego?"

"What about me?"

"Are you done with the whole villain thing?"

Shego did not respond.

"You know," Kim continued, "You and Drakken got pardons after you helped defeat the Lorwardians, right? So it's kind of like you have a clean slate now. I'm sure Global Justice would be happy to have someone with your skills helping them out."

Shego raised an eyebrow. "Um, Kimmie, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not the Global Justice type. The day I work for those stooges, pigs will fly."

"Alright, it was just a suggestion."

"Why are you doing this, anyway?"

"Doing what?"

"I don't know," said Shego with a shrug, "whatever it is that you're doing. Trying to be all chummy and giving me advice. I mean, I've almost killed you before."

Kim stood up from the bed and paced towards the window with her back to Shego. She watched the snowflakes paint swirling patterns in the air, just beyond the cold glass. She wondered what exactly it was that she was trying to do.

"Who says I'm trying to be chummy? It's in my best interest if you decide to drop the villain sitch, after all. I mean, I might miss kicking you around," Kim said with a smirk, "but I wouldn't be locked in metal boxes underwater and fighting giant squid anymore."

Shego laughed. "That was a pretty good trap, wasn't it?" She noticed the displeased expression on Kim's face. "Uh, sorry."

Kim was taken aback. She couldn't remember hearing Shego apologize for anything in the past, unless it was done sarcastically. Maybe Shego was actually changing.

For some reason, memories of high school suddenly flooded Kim's mind. She remembered her concern with the food chain, and how she had overlooked her best friend for more conventionally appealing choices in a boyfriend. Kim knew that she was not the same person now as she used to be. She thought of Ron as well, of times where Ron had become a different person and let his ego get the best of him. There were moments in the past when it was hard to get along with Ron – there were even moments, she admitted, when she wondered if their friendship would last – but Ron had gotten over himself, learned from his mistakes, and their relationship had only grown stronger with time.

"Shego... I know you've done some heinous stuff in the past. To me, to others. But I don't think people are defined by their past. You can choose to keep looking back and let the past control you, you can just leave it behind completely, or you can learn from it People exist here and now, you know? The person we used to be is not who we are now, unless we choose to continue being that person."

"What is this, philosophy 101?"

Kim sighed. "Okay, harsh on me all you want Shego. But do you know what I'm getting at? I mean, you used to be one of the good guys. People can change. You used to fight evil with your brothers, so you know more than anybody how much a person can change."

"I'm not going back to that, Kim."

"You don't have to. I'm not saying you should go back to the way you were. I'm saying that what you do in the present is up to you. You don't have to feel like you're stuck in some role, because you're not."

Shego inspected her fingernails and thought for a moment. "Yeah... I guess I see what you're saying. I'm not making any promises here. For now I'm just sticking with Drakken. He pays well, he's a good verbal punching bag, and if he wants to do legitimate stuff, I'm cool with that."

Kim briefly considered teasing Shego about some other 'benefits' she might receive from sticking with Drakken, but decided it was best to keep quiet.

"Don't think I'm going soft though, Princess."

Faint sounds of laughter and holiday music drifted into the room from the open door. Shego lay back and stared at the ceiling, jet black hair splayed out across her bedspread. It did not look to Kim as if she was interested in talking much more.

"I think I'm going to go back to the living room before Rufus eats the rest of Ron's Christmas cookies. You want to join us?"

Shego did not move. "No. I just want to be alone for a while." She listened as the sound of Kim's footsteps left the room and tapered off down the hallway.

XX

It was the morning after Christmas day. A fine snowy mist swirled through the air, disturbed from its rest by a metal door which was opened by a pair of unusually small blue hands. Drakken stepped out onto the roof of his alpine lair and held the door open for his mother, Shego, the Possible family, and the Wade-Bot 2000 to join him. The Possibles had slept overnight in the guest room that Drakken had installed in the lair after it was rebuilt from the Lorwardian attacks. His sidekick had mocked the choice, pointing out that an evil villain rarely entertained guests, but Drakken knew it would come in handy someday.

"See," the blue man ranted, "I told you there was a stairway leading to the roof. I don't know why people have to come down the chimney and kick the gratings off air vents and be all up in my business!"

"Ugh, Doctor D, please do not use the phrase 'all up in my business' ever again."

James Possible put his hand on Drakken's shoulder before the blue-hued man could start grousing about Shego's cruelty. "Now, Drew," said James. "Remember what we talked about. There's no need to install hypersonic speed modifications in a children's plaything!"

"Nnngggh. Where's the fun in it, then?"

"Drew, if you want to go into business, you have to remember you're serving the customer, not yourself!" James let out a good-natured chuckle. "And believe me, speaking as a father of three, kids don't like to be attacked by their own toys."

Drakken stopped paying attention to his former classmate's advice as he caught sight of the sleek jet that was parked on his roof. "So pretty... Shego, why don't I have a jet like that?"

James smiled and, using a remote control he pulled from his pocket, flicked the jet's camouflaging system on and off.

"Oh my! You _have_ to tell me how you built that!" Drakken pleaded.

"Oh, I don't think so Drew. That's top secret technology!"

"No fair! It's the least you can do after how much you picked on me in high school."

Drakken's mother gasped at her son's comment, giving James a piercing glare. "Wait a minute. Drewbie, you mean to say that this is that awful James fellow who always gave you a hard time at school?" James raised his finger and was about to reply when the stout woman leaped at him without warning, brandishing her purse like a bludgeon. He held his hands in front of his face as the purse struck him mercilessly.

"Mother, please! The past is past, James and I have a working relationship now!"

Drakken's mother backed off, but James scrambled behind his wife to avoid any further blows. His remote control brought down an extending ramp from the side of the jet, and Jim and Tim were the first to rush on board. No one had noticed, but they both carried bulges under their sweaters as a result of taking a few souvenirs from Drakken's laboratory. James and Anne climbed on board with the Wade-Bot, and Ron and Kim took up the rear.

"Thanks again for the Snowman Hank DVD's, Doctor Drakken!" yelled Ron from the door of the jet. He turned to Kim and whispered confidentially in her ear. "I already have those at home, but you know what they say KP, it's the thought that counts!" Ron gave a last wave and went inside, strapping himself in to a seat between the twins.

Before entering the jet, Kim took a last look at the strange trio of blue, green, and yellow floral print that stood on the roof. Drakken and his mother were both waving excitedly at the jet. Just before the ramp scaled back up and the door sealed itself shut, Kim caught a glimpse of Shego. Her hand was raised slightly, and - if Kim was not mistaken - there was an almost imperceptible smile on her face.


	8. All I Want for Christmas is Blue

**All I Want for Christmas is Blue**

XX

The parking lot of the Middleton Bueno Nacho was more crowded than usual. Some of the spaces were blocked off with heaps of snow that had been plowed aside in the past week, and the remainder were taken up by people tired of eating holiday leftovers. Many of the diners still wore their coats inside; every time a newcomer opened the doors in search of a Mexican meal, a cool breeze would wander through the restaurant, poking its way curiously through the booths.

Kim Possible gathered her coat around herself as one of those breezes brushed by. Ron was ordering their meal at the registers, gesturing animatedly at the overhead menu while he talked to Ned. _I wonder if Ned is going to college, _Kim asked herself. _He's__ been working here forever. At least he seems to enjoy it._ She looked around at the interior of the restaurant. It had been rebuilt after a Lorwardian robot stepped on it, and was a lot bigger than it used to be. To Kim, it seemed more like the Bueno Nacho in Go City. Somehow it was less personal, less cozy – not the place that belonged in her memories. She supposed it was part of growing up. Places change, people change. Still, she knew that Middleton would be her home as long as her parents lived there, and the Bueno Nacho booth she occupied would always be her booth, if Ron was sitting there with her. Stuffing his face with a Naco.

"Snackage has arrived, KP!"

Kim snapped out of her reflections as a tray of salad dropped in front of her. Ron slid into the other side of the booth, balancing a heaping tray of Nacos and sauce packets with one hand while keeping Rufus at bay with the other. Rufus had a tendency to eat the entire order before it hit the table if no one was watching him.

"How's Ned doing?" asked Kim.

"Pretty good. He's the manager here now. He's psyched about that."

"Oooh, thapth gooth for him!" sputtered Kim with a mouth full of salad. It was a bad habit that Ron happened to find endearing.

Ron, having opened his Diablo Sauce packets, noticed that most of his Nacos were already gone. Rufus was on his back and asleep in the middle of the table, distended belly jiggling slightly as he snored. Ron sighed and wolfed down one of his remaining Nacos. "I still can't believe your dad was helping Drakken redesign the nutcracker. I guess they're best buds now, huh?"

Kim laughed. "I'm not sure about that. It was ferociously weird for sure, but I think dad was trying to prevent 'Attack of the Diablo Robots Part Two' from going down."

"Haha, Mr. Dr. P knows what's going on! I guess Drakken needs a little work before he jumps from mad scientist to entrepreneur. What was he going to name that thing again?"

"The Nutinator 2000, I think."

"You know, if it were me, I'd rethink that name. Why do machines always have '2000' on the end of their name, anyway? I can understand machines made in the year 2000, but what does it mean the rest of the time?"

Kim shrugged. It was a good question, though.

Ron swallowed a mouthful of Naco that his pet mole rat had not yet stolen. "By the way, how's Monique doing? You called her when we got back to your house, right?"

"Yeah. She sounded a little wiped out because she had to shovel the driveway. I believe Monique's description of it was S.N.C."

Ron squinted in concentration. "Snow... needs... okay, I give up."

"So not cool. But she did say she's going to hang out with us for New Years! She has a few more designs she wants to show us, plus she got some outfits for Christmas, so it sounds like we get a free fashion show."

"Badical!"

"As long as you're not checking out her skimpy outfits too closely. Then it will be _very_ badical for you, Ron."

"Come on Kim, you know you're my main girl!" Kim raised an eyebrow at Ron's comment. "Wait, you're my only girl I mean. No other girls!"

"I know, Ron. I'm just teasing you."

Kim watched as her boyfriend finished the rest of his Nacos and belched loudly. They still had a lot of time left on their holiday break, but she couldn't help but think about the next semester of college. Ron's major was still undecided; he was taking a few culinary classes, but was otherwise unsure of his future.

Kim didn't like to admit it, but she felt the same way. She had always been driven to excel in high school, had always been confident about what she was meant to do with her life, but the first semester of college had been daunting. Getting good grades was not a challenge, but it was bewildering to have so many choices available, and so many paths where those choices could lead. Did she want to become a neurosurgeon like her mother? Did she want to go into criminal justice, or international diplomacy?

Kim and Ron did not share a dorm – there was no way her father would have given that an okay – but Ron hung out with her constantly and took several diplomacy and criminology classes with her, even though he had a harder time keeping up. Kim knew that she could have problems with staying grounded and not stressing herself out, and on a campus surrounded by strangers, she was thankful to have Ron by her side. Or her back, as he would say. Ron grounded her. He was the buoy that kept her afloat in deep water.

Ron pocketed his sleeping mole rat and stood up. "Ready to go, Kim?"

"Done already? Sure."

Kim zipped up her coat and took Ron's hand in her own as they slipped out of the booth. They walked through the doors into bright sunlight, and set sail into the unknown.

XX

Shego was mercilessly pummeling a punching bag in the gym room when she heard the doorbell ring. Something about having a doorbell always struck Shego as unbecoming of a villain, but it was one of those things Drakken would insist on if she complained. She ignored the doorbell and continued working out. Giving punching bags a hard time helped Shego release her annoyance at various things, but sometimes she could go overboard. Drakken's lairs had always brought in a steady stream of fresh bags to replace old ones that were thrown in the trash, clawed to shreds or burnt to a crisp. As the doorbell rang again, Shego lashed out with a little extra venom, giving the punching bag a deep gash.

"Drakken! Answer the door!"

No response came from the main room. Picking up a green towel, Shego was about to enter the shower room when the doorbell rang for a third time. She wiped her face with the towel and walked down the hallway to answer the door. Drakken was in his laboratory space, fiddling with a new prototype of the nutcracker robot that he had started building over the last week, after he gotten some advice from Kim's father on Christmas. This time it was closer to a child's size, and – Shego assumed – not programmed to have an unquenchable thirst for human flesh. The doorbell suddenly belted out a staccato series of rings, but Drakken ignored them, lost in his work.

"Yo, Doctor D! Do you hear the door?"

"Oh, yes. Could you answer that, Shego?"

"Rrrrrgghh!"

Shego stomped towards the door and whipped it open to reveal a shivering man, dressed in a delivery uniform and holding a pair of boxes. "What is it? What do you want?" she snapped.

The delivery man tried to keep the boxes pinned against his body with his arms while holding out a clipboard and pen. "Happy New Years! Sign for these, ma'am?"

"Do I look like a ma'am to you?" Shego snatched the clipboard away from him and scribbled down her signature with a frown. "What are those?"

"I don't know ma – Mrs – um, Miss," the man stammered as a pair of hands ignited with green flame in front of him. "It's a delivery from Middleton."

Shego took the two boxes and tore the cardboard away, revealing a pair of presents. One present, wrapped in newspaper and twine, had a card addressed to Drakken from Ron Stoppable. The other present, which was for Shego, looked like it was wrapped by a more competent hand. Or maybe a less lazy hand, Shego thought. It was from Kim Possible.

The delivery man rubbed his hands together with a hopeful expression. "Do you know how long it took me to get up the side of that cliff and deliver these? It was tough, let me tell you! You know, it's customary for a lot of people to give the deliveryman a small tip in cases like -"

Shego idly slammed the door in his face as she looked over the presents. "Hey Drakken, you've got a special delivery here."

"What? Shego, you can't just take anything inside without checking it! How do you know Dementor isn't trying to send me a bomb in the mail!"

"It's from Kim's little sidekick, you idiot."

"Oh, the buffoon! Gimme gimme!"

Shego tossed the poorly wrapped present to Drakken, and went into her room with her own gift. She had no idea why Kim would send her something, but she wanted a little privacy. As she lay back on her bed, Shego laughed in amusement when she realized why Kim and Ron had sent late Christmas presents. They felt obligated after Drakken had given them presents, even though they hadn't brought any of their own. The fact that they came to Drakken's lair expecting to foil an evil plot was irrelevant – for a do-gooder like Kim, you had to give a gift in exchange for one you received, even if it was a gift from your arch foe!

Shego felt the present in her hands - it was very light. She shook the present out of curiosity - there was no recognizable sound. She tore the wrapping paper away and threw it aside, revealing a small white box. She opened the box and saw that it was almost empty inside, save for a few rectangular pieces of paper that rested on the bottom. She gingerly picked them up, and realized that they were photographs.

Shego recognized them instantly, because she had seen them before. Printed on each piece of paper was a series of vertical photographs taken from a photo booth. Framed in each picture was Shego, dressed in a schoolteacher's uniform instead of her usual black and green outfit, and Kim. Their expressions were serious in the first few photographs, but the pair rapidly switched to goofy expressions and poses. They both looked very happy.

A sudden hoot came from the lair's main room – Drakken had opened his present – but Shego did not notice. She sat quietly, looking at the photographs for a long time with no discernible expression on her face. A jumbled collection of thoughts and memories twisted their way through her mind. Echoes of her past, before she had turned to villainy, when she was still with her brothers. Echoes from the photographs, of the time she had spent with Kim Possible. Echoes from that deeper part of herself. The part that was trying to find its voice.

She turned to the bedside dresser and opened the top drawer. Inside lay a framed picture of herself as a child, posing for a family photo with her brothers. She carefully arranged the photo booth pictures on top of the family photo, so that they were surrounded by the black wooden picture frame. She looked down at the arrangement for a moment with a pensive expression, and finally closed the drawer. On the nightstand lay the silver and obsidian necklace that Drakken had given her for Christmas. She picked it up and fastened it around her neck as she left her room.

Sprawled across the living room couch with a glass of cocoa moo in one hand and a remote in the other, Drakken was turning on his DVD player. The coffee table in front of him, on which his feet were casually propped, was strewn with shredded pieces of newspaper.

"What did Stoppable get you, Doctor D?"

Drakken turned at the sound of Shego's voice and smiled. "The newest season of Agony County on DVD! Now I'll never miss a repeat again!"

"Great. Sounds like all your dreams have come true."

Drakken removed his feet from the coffee table and sat up on the couch, patting his hand on a spot beside him. "Why don't you come join me, Shego? I'm just about to start the first episode!"

Shego briefly tried to think of a sarcastic comment, but decided to just sit down with Drakken and watch the show. She would never admit it to anyone, but Agony County was a bit of a guilty pleasure for her. As she got comfortable while the opening credits rolled, Drakken put his mug of cocoa moo on the coffee table and leaned back into the couch with an obviously faked yawn, snaking his arm deftly behind her. Shego saw a faint blue smile take shape in the corner of her eye, and felt a little warmer as he scooted over a bit closer. It was a strange feeling, and she was surprised to find out she liked it.


End file.
